This will sound like a lot of complaining perhaps, but it's all in service of helping any other freelancer with their sad thoughts know that they're not alone. Here's my list of thoughts at the current moment about my voiceover career, wondering mostly what I'm doing wrong.
Why am I not further along yet, by which I mean, not full-time? I started studying in 2013, had my first job at 2015, moved to Los Angeles in 2018. When I moved to LA, I figured I'd work my day job (closed captioning at the time) maybe three more years, then have saved up enough to be a full-time VO to leave the day job. The pandemic messed things up a little bit, but I find myself now wondering, why am I still working a day job? I meet so many people at voiceover conferences that say things like "I was full-time in three years," "I was full-time in five years." If we take 2015 as the count-start, then it's been ten for me, and I'm at pretty much the same place.
What am I doing wrong? I do gratitude listing at night, 10 things I'm grateful for. I audition regularly, at least one per day, with a focus on finding five a day, from agents and pay-to-plays. Yes, I do need to get back to marketing and I do need to make a much better stab at going to networking events. I used to be regular at cold email marketing and following up and got work from that and LinkedIn. So what am I not doing? I know I have good sound quality/ sound proofing in the studio. Is it just my voice, like the client doesn't know how to use it yet? Is it really my acting choices? What else should I be doing?
Am I not doing enough? Should I actually deprive myself of sleep so that I manage to do auditions and marketing after work, eat, have time for leisure (like a TV show or chatting with my roommate), and work on any current art project, even on nights where I have events planned like DnD, leather class, improv, or such? They say to eat, live, and breathe your chosen passion... but that's also unhealthy. They say to have other hobbies so when your chosen thing isn't going well, your self-worth isn't entirely tied to that. You could say this about friends/lovers too; so like when that person is busy or you're mad at them and don't want to talk, you can go to someone else.
I truly feel like I was meant for acting and/or writing. One of my earliest memories is going to an audition for a Smuckers commercial as a 4 or 5-year-old. My sister and I made stories all the time, through middle and high school, into college, speaking them out and planning them. I'd get annoyed when kids couldn't act from sight-reading in English class. As a 12-year-old, I picked out exactly what vowels and consonants were different in Billy Boyd's Scottish accent from my American accent, so that I'd know how to do it, something I learned much later in a real accents class was a true method of learning accents. But I do have other passions, like my painting, going on walks, and video games... so it's not like I eat, sleep, breathe voiceover. Is that so wrong?
I feel like I just need someone to finally take a chance on me, so that I may get that snowball effect of "work begets work." I thought I had it with the Walking Dead Match 3 Tales, but that game barely lasted a year in the world before they shut down the servers. I also fear that I'm holding myself back because I don't want to do live sessions from my closet; it's fine at night when things are quiet (I do auditions and self-recorded jobs then), but during the day, dogs barking and other things may come in. But come on, I could go to someone else's studio, so that's not a problem!
Am I holding myself back? Am I not doing the law of attraction correctly? Do I like being a victim? I'm hoping that getting back into tapping and meditation will help me overcome this, if the answer is yes to these questions. It's one of those things where I say no, of course not, but perhaps secretly the answer is yes.
When I go to voiceover meetups and workshops, and I hear people talking about their agents, a game they just did, stories about casting directors, they make it sound so easy! I again feel like, what am I doing wrong? They've been here the same amount of time as me; why are they successful and I'm not? It could be the social media thing of "I don't know their struggles, only successes," or it could be that they really are better or further along. I wish to go to one of these events and just be happy to be there, instead of feeling inadequate or again like I'm doing something wrong. I want to be able to ask people for referrals to their high-powered agents, but I'm afraid of that too, or use the excuse, "well, even if they're my friend, they've never really heard me act, so how could they recommend me?" But isn't that what demos are for, to be shared? I guess I really am holding me back.
I try to live with a "no regrets, I could die tomorrow" mentality, especially thanks to the tahara that I do, the Jewish funeral-ritual body washing. I guess I should stop being scared of looking like a simpering taker, one that only asks for ways to help themselves. I should just ask anyway. I know myself; I give my time and money and hand-made gifts. I know I'm also a giver. Why not ask people for recommendations or referrals? As my mom always says, the worst they could say is no. Because without a great agent, I will never get the big video game auditions that I desire. Yet I feel bad too because I don't have much work to point to for them; they'll want to see the work I've done in the past, and it's mostly corporate narration. I guess I should do the foolhardy thing anyway and let them decide.
Maybe you feel my pain because of your own place in your freelancing career. What am I doing about any of these questions? If you're looking for something new to try...
Why am I not further along yet? - I have to trust that everything will work out one day. Everything else in my life seems to have taken longer to be given than in other people's.
What am I doing wrong? - I'll keep asking other people what they do to get voiceover work.
Am I not doing enough? - I actually need to learn to be less harsh on myself. I need to stick to my boundaries of bedtime, and whatever I didn't get done that day, because maybe I was at a party with friends even, I must learn to not feel guilty about (or when to decide I can't go to the party).
Am I holding myself back? - Say the answer is yes. What do I do then? Perhaps do more of what scares me, like asking others for referrals and truly getting back to emailing (at least five per week to start). I hate the feeling of self-importance from the emails, so I'll tailor them as much as possible to be conversational and "can you come out to play with me" as possible, something I learned from Rachael Naylor.
I don't know... if you have suggestions, please give them to me. In the meantime, I will check the pay-to-plays I'm on at least once a day, even if I don't have time for auditions. I will email at least five people a week. I will work on my planned content marketing (mostly parody videos) for YouTube. I'll look for ways to feel good about where I am on the journey instead of wishing for the destination or thinking I'm doing it wrong.... which means reading acting books, I guess. I do want to increase my tapping and meditations too.
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